What Is A Good Workout And Eating Plan For Getting Onto The Front Cover Of A Magazine?

I want to be on the cover of a fitness magazine. The problem is that I need to lose 80 pounds of fat. Once you lose fat, I can be on the cover and spread the gospel of how to achieve a hot, toned body. Then you can write an excerpt from my article on how Yahoo! Answers staff helped me reach my goal. How long can lose 80 pounds safely? I'm thinking about 7 months.